What _______ Looks Like

During every stage of motherhood there are plenty good and bad things.  Here are some of the ones I have recognized over the past month as well as some other thoughts that have been rolling around my head.

No

Throwing Food

Not Sharing

Mine  

Stepping on the tops of my feet

Tantrums - He sure knows how to throw a good one
Independence - doesn't want help when he needs it, wants it when he doesn't

When he says "see ya"
How he leans in and blinks when he wants butterfly kisses

How he softly cries for whichever parent is not putting him to bed

How he learns new words every day.  Some of my favorites; yo-yo, fly, meow, moo.

How he snuggles his face into his green monkey blanket at nap and bedtime

How he sings with Michael when he is playing the guitar

How he asks for daddy about 1,000 x a day

How excited he gets when daddy comes home from work.  He watches for him out the window and then runs to the front door to give him a great big hug.

How he points to EVERY baby we see in public and gets so excited about them
How he sits on his dump truck and then turns to me and says "see ya" while waving

I have noticed that I have gone through many little phases as I have tried to discover the mom in me.  As a passed through some phases I realized that I wasn't fully enjoying being a mom.  

Then I read this quote by Anna Quindlen, "I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less." 

I knew right then, that in 10 years that would be me.  I wasn't enjoying life.  I was constantly looking for the next think I needed to check off my to do list.  Outside play time, dinner, dishes, clean up, bed.  On and on and on.  

Next I read this quote by Iris Krasnow 

"...the most important advice [I] could give mothers is to Be There."

"Being there isn't about money or even about staying home full-time.  It's about an emotional and spiritual shift, of succumbing to Being Where You Are When You Are, and Being There as much as possible." 

Since reading those wise words I have slowed down.  I've left the dishes undone once in a while, I didn't vacuum my house last week, but I did spend extra time snuggling with Eli on the couch while we read books.  And you know what, I'm happier and he is happier.  We have had less tantrums and more laughter.  I know I still have to get things done around the house but those things aren't always the most important things.  I'm slowly learning to Be There.  It's hard.  But it makes a difference.

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I have also recently had a huge problem comparing myself to other moms/women around me.

Not a good habit.  I know.

I have a lot of great friends who have amazing talents.  They make bread, sew better than I do, take their kids to the library more than I do, sing to their children more than I do, and cook healthier than I do.  Some even have small jobs that help contribute to the family income.  All while keeping their kids and husbands happy.

They seem to be able to do it all!

Then I started reading "A Mother's Book of Secrets".  Just the title of one of the chapters helped me feel loads better about all of this comparing mumbo jumbo.  

The chapter is titled Be Your Own Kind of "Best Mom"

The last paragraph is the chapter says...

Most days I'm flying by the seat of my pants, but each day that I really put my heart into it I think I come a little closer to being the mom I want to be.  I want to be the best kind of mom I can be.  The secret isn't to try to be the best mom I see in so many others.  It's to analyze what my own strengths are, to build on them, and to apply what I know to my parenting.  That way I become my own kind of "best mom."  And that's what my kids need me to be.

I truly believe that my children are sent to me, to this family, for a reason.  Heavenly father knows them and me personally.  He knows that I have strengths and talents that will help me teach them.  My children need me to be the best ME, not the mom down the street.  

It's always good to improve and to try new things, but I don't need to feel pressured into doing something just because others are.  Or because the media says I should.

In fact, I think we all have different strengths for a reason, we all need to rely on each other a little more.  I don't think motherhood is a role we are supposed to fulfill alone.  We have our husbands, friends, other mothers, and most importantly Heavenly Father to help us fulfill this role.  

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And last but not least, for those days when no matter what I do, no matter how positive I am, how many things I leave undone, or how "There" I am and we still have a no good terrible day, I try and remember this quote. 

"Over time, the grueling job of a mother requires one to learn everything from patience to clinical psychology.  It teaches you to roll with the punches, puck your battles, and fish a favorite toy out of a toilet that has been used but not flushed without a wince.  You become a non-judgmental driver, a nurse, and a comforter.  And with a little self-reminder, you can recognize "a stage" and leap over the exceedingly strange behavior of a child with a single bound.  

When you are "in the fire," it is sometimes hard to recognize the value of what you are learning.  But the day-by-day refining process, the problem solving, crisis resolution, mental stretching, mess clean-ups, sleep deprivation, and loving more than you ever thought possible truly makes you into a smart, aware, beautifully refined individual."  Linda Eyre, A Mothers Book of Secrets p. 20  

Some Things I Don't Want to Forget

Some things about E that I don't want to forget

1. His new found giggle.  Deep and bubbly.  The scream laugh only occurs about 70% of the time.

2. He loves to wrap his arms around my neck and give me a big hug.  He does this with EVERYONE, even people at church he doesn't know that well. 

3. Sometimes he gives us kisses and when he does we always end up with slobber all over our cheeks, noses, and chins.  

4. He gets so excited when daddy comes home.  He is not a mommas boy anymore.

5. When we are in a new place with new people he gets so quiet and I can tell he is just soaking everything in.  

6. He is constantly squirming in church and I feel like we will never hear another sacrament talk or sunday school lesson again.

7. Water - He loves to drink it, splash in it and take a bath in it.  

8. He starts dancing, bobbing his head, or waving his hand around like a conductor the second he hears music.

9. Diaper Changes - Still hates them

10. Loves to snuggle into soft blankets or warm clothes just out of the dryer.

11. Determination - So determined it's on the verge of stubborn.  He won't stop until he accomplishes his task.

12. Loves the piano

13. Gets so excited to see us every morning.  Almost as excited as I am to see him.

I love being a mother.  Yes we have hard days (Sundays are the hardest by far) and sometimes I just don't feel like I'm good enough.  Every day I try to be better and sometimes I just fail, miserably.  Sometimes I can't wait for nap time and bedtime.  Sometimes I loose my patience, or feel tired all day. 

  Even with all of the not so pretty things, I still think this is the best job in the world for me.  Every day that little boy teaches me more about love, more about patience and sacrifice, more about myself.  I'm so grateful that I have this opportunity.  I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Today Was A Good Day

We started off with some snuggling in mom's warm bed.  Then we moved on to a snack-time picnic, walks, food throwing, book reading, picture taking, fit throwing, tickles, laughing, wrestling, hugs and kisses, bath time, and good night kisses.  

There may or may not have been some dress-up torture as well.  

Speaking of torture good laughs, here is a video of Eli sucking on a lime.  I was cooking the other day and he really wanted to eat what I was holding, so, I let him try it.  

In Love With...

...My Life

Once again I didn't wake up at 6:30 so I could take a shower and get ready before E woke up.  (That has been my goal for 3 solid weeks and I have failed miserably each and every day.)  So, to get me energized for the day I decided to play some music.  Song of choice, Dynamite by Taio Cruz.  As I fed E his oatmeal I started busing out some dance moves and was soon joined by Michael. 

E looked up at us wide eyed and I could almost hear him thinking...  "Wow you guys are my parents?  You're crazy!"

   As Michael left to finish getting ready for work it hit me, I LOVE MY LIFE.  

Even if I don't get dressed until 9:30.  

Even if my floors are constantly cluttered with baby toys, cheerios and Tupperware.  

(E's favorite toys).

Even if I have forgotten what it's like to have an adult converstation that doesn't revolve around babies, diapers, feedings etc.

Even if I sometimes crave girl time just so I can get out and have some fun.

Even if I don't get enough sleep because my 10 month old has been teething since Easter!

There may be a lot of things about motherhood that aren't picture perfect, but there are so many more things that are even better than picture perfect.  Yes it's tough, and I can only imagine how much harder it will become as we add more children to our family.  And how much harder still when they become teenagers.  But I wouldn't trade this sacred responsibility for anything in the world.   

I love being a mother, I love my life.

One of Those Days

  We had one of those days on Wednesday that makes being a mother so wonderful.  E and I had fun lounging around and playing.  Those days make the hard ones worth it.

This is me trying to get pictures of his teeth.   He switches from happy to sad in a matter of seconds. 

Then we had some fun "eating" tags. 

Mother's Day

Mother's Day was wonderful this year and was extra special because I have a baby of my own.  

Now that I am a mother I really do appreciate my mom, and all mothers, so much more.  As mothers we have such an important responsibility to love, nurture, and teach our children.  I'm grateful for my mom and the dedication she put into raising her family.  I am also grateful for my mother in law and the wonderful job she did in raising Michael.  He is perfect for me and I know much of that is because of her firm testimony and unwavering diligence in teaching him truth.  

As I listened to the speakers in church on Sunday tell of their sweet mothers I was once again reminded of the new burden I bear of mother.  I could literally feel the weight of this new role bearing down upon me as I listened to stories of wonderful women and how they had magnified the calling of mother.  As I think of my future as a mother I am filled with anxiety, faith, and joy.  I am so new at this "mother" thing that I can't claim to know anything!  However, I have faith that my Heavenly Father--who is the perfect parent--will help me.  He knows me and my children.  He will help me when I fail and strengthen me in my role as a mother.  I am grateful that He has blessed me with wonderful examples of great mothers and with tools to help me become a better mother.  

One "tool" that I recently discovered is the book Teaching Your Children Joy 

By Linda and Richard Eyre.  

I started reading this book just before Mother's day and it has filled me with joy.  In the introduction the Eyre's explain that the most important thing you can give your children is love, but after that the most important thing we have give them or teach them is to have joy.  And they aren't just talking about a happy sort of joy, but joy in work, spiritual joys and much much more.  I'm borrowing this book from my mother in law, but I wish I had my own copy because I have been restraining myself from writing all over it and taking notes in the margins! 

Another reason I LOVE this book is because it's not one of those parenting books where you read a few chapters and you feel as though you keep reading the same 3 paragraphs that state the author's opinion over and over and over again.  The Eyre's are very to-the-point in this book.  They give real examples of each joy, ways you can teach them, stories that demonstrate them, and examples of how children have experienced the joys.  I can't wait to keep reading!  Who knows, maybe I'll become more joyful in the process too!